One of the most misunderstood girls in the school, next to the Emo girl, is the Artist. She's the one that will become an art major in college, only to discover that it won't ever pay her bills. She will either continue to be a starving artist, or she will change her course forever and go into web design in Abu Dhabi and make billions.
But to be a starving artist, she must first become completely misunderstood. All great artists are completely misunderstood. No one will understand them until after their deaths, which, if they are lucky, will be suicides, because only that will prove that they were completely understood. Think about it. No one really appreciated Van Gogh until he was long gone. Poor Vincent. And no one took Felix Mendelssohn seriously because they felt that during his posh lifestyle he hadn't suffered enough to have the raw emotions necessary to create decent music. I guess his genius was also misunderstood, but in the opposite direction. Poor Felix. We love him now. We love them both now.
So, Artist girl, you have two choices: become a starving artist in some big city and live a tormented life now, only to become revered later, or you can be completely understood now and make millions doing web design in Abu Dhabi.
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Foreign Exchange Student
Every year, there is one girl that came to our school from half way around the world. Like Fez on that 70's Show, we don't really know where she came from, we just know that the plane ride over must have been a beast. We know nothing of her life before she came to our school, she could have done web design in Abu Dhabi or been an electrician in Germany. We just don't know.
We talk to her all the time, but for some reason nothing she says ever sticks in our brains. It's as if our minds can't comprehend the words because her exotic accent has gotten in the way. She could have told us that she was the fifth of six children being raised by the king of Moldova and all we would have heard was, "I am amazing. All your boyfriends will fall for me, then I will travel back around the world to my home where I will marry my true love, breaking forever all your boyfriends' hearts and ruining them forever. MuHAHAHAHAH!"
Yep, that's what we hear. So we will forever hate you, the Abu Dhabi web design girl.
We talk to her all the time, but for some reason nothing she says ever sticks in our brains. It's as if our minds can't comprehend the words because her exotic accent has gotten in the way. She could have told us that she was the fifth of six children being raised by the king of Moldova and all we would have heard was, "I am amazing. All your boyfriends will fall for me, then I will travel back around the world to my home where I will marry my true love, breaking forever all your boyfriends' hearts and ruining them forever. MuHAHAHAHAH!"
Yep, that's what we hear. So we will forever hate you, the Abu Dhabi web design girl.
Athletic Girl
This next one is a girl we all know. Some of us love her, some of us hate her. She tall, thin and always has the best tan. But it's not because she goes to a tanning bed. No, she doesn't need to. She's out in the actual sun so much that her skin has, very naturally, turned a lovely shade of brown. She is the athletic girl.
She plays soccer, softball, runs track and plays volleyball. She gets phone calls from boys almost every night of the week, but it's not because they want to treat her to a sundae. It's because they need a fifth for their basketball game and want to know if she's in. In the Summer, you can find her on the lake. She would be happy to spend every day on a tube or skis behind the boat. She loves to jet ski and even does her own jet ski repair because she knows that it will take less time than taking it some place to get it fixed by someone else. She just wants to be on the water. She's the girl that you know jumped out of her bassinet days after she was born, ready to start playing.
But she has a secret. She loves who she is, she just wishes that she could get a date every now and then. Cheer up, jet ski repair girl, you'll get there some day.
She plays soccer, softball, runs track and plays volleyball. She gets phone calls from boys almost every night of the week, but it's not because they want to treat her to a sundae. It's because they need a fifth for their basketball game and want to know if she's in. In the Summer, you can find her on the lake. She would be happy to spend every day on a tube or skis behind the boat. She loves to jet ski and even does her own jet ski repair because she knows that it will take less time than taking it some place to get it fixed by someone else. She just wants to be on the water. She's the girl that you know jumped out of her bassinet days after she was born, ready to start playing.
But she has a secret. She loves who she is, she just wishes that she could get a date every now and then. Cheer up, jet ski repair girl, you'll get there some day.
The Smart One
As we have seen, there are many different types of girls. The next one is the queen of them all. She is the one that is going to grow up and become a social security attorney in Detroit or a brain surgeon for St. John's or space engineer for NASA. She most often wears glasses and can be found most often in the library. She will be valedictorian and will graduate from college Summa Cum Laude. She is the genius in the school, and most often, she knows it. She's too nice to be stuck up about it, though.
She is The Smart One. The boys envy her genius, but never ask her out because they are far too intimidated by her. The girls want a piece of her smarts, but not the whole pie because they actually like being asked out by the boys. She likes who she is, though, even when the jealous boys are mocking her by calling her "Four Point". She hates these boys. But she's ok because she knows that she will go on to lead a far more amazing life than they do and she knows that in the end, she will be making twice their annual income. They are losers, and she is not.
To you, Smart One, I say do it. Go become a social security attorney in Detroit. You can do it.
She is The Smart One. The boys envy her genius, but never ask her out because they are far too intimidated by her. The girls want a piece of her smarts, but not the whole pie because they actually like being asked out by the boys. She likes who she is, though, even when the jealous boys are mocking her by calling her "Four Point". She hates these boys. But she's ok because she knows that she will go on to lead a far more amazing life than they do and she knows that in the end, she will be making twice their annual income. They are losers, and she is not.
To you, Smart One, I say do it. Go become a social security attorney in Detroit. You can do it.
Hunter Girl
The next type of girl I would like to discuss is one that is traditionally found in the mid-western states, like Missouri, Iowa, South Dakota, etc. She is a different breed completely from those we've discussed before, and is very much akin to the FFA girl. This is Hunter girl.
Hunter girl is the one that will take a couple (if not a week) of school off each year to go pheasant hunting in South Dakota or fly fishing in Minnesota. She lives for the outdoors and is proud of the day that she finally shot her first buck. She's more proud of the day that she shot her first 8 point buck.
She owns three guns of her own; ones that she saved her money for years to buy. She's a daddy's girl, but not in the sense that she's a tomboy, but just someone that would prefer to be behind a duck blind than sitting in her homeroom class. She is confident in who she is and doesn't want to change at all, even though the rest of the snotty girls (remember the cheerleader?) make fun of her camo on the days she plans to go straight into the woods after school.
She is the girl that we all respect, because pheasant hunting girl is amazing, but let's face it, we don't want to be her.
Hunter girl is the one that will take a couple (if not a week) of school off each year to go pheasant hunting in South Dakota or fly fishing in Minnesota. She lives for the outdoors and is proud of the day that she finally shot her first buck. She's more proud of the day that she shot her first 8 point buck.
She owns three guns of her own; ones that she saved her money for years to buy. She's a daddy's girl, but not in the sense that she's a tomboy, but just someone that would prefer to be behind a duck blind than sitting in her homeroom class. She is confident in who she is and doesn't want to change at all, even though the rest of the snotty girls (remember the cheerleader?) make fun of her camo on the days she plans to go straight into the woods after school.
She is the girl that we all respect, because pheasant hunting girl is amazing, but let's face it, we don't want to be her.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Promo Girl
Have you ever wondered why some girls are gifted at budgeting? I mean, there are guys that are good at it, too, but it seems that this particular trait seems to focus on the female of our species. It seems that there are some girls that can budget the heck out of life. They KNOW how to save money.
I feel that a lot of this has to do with coupons and sales. I have a friend that can, on a regular basis, buy boxes of cereal for a dollar a piece. How does she do this? I don't know. It's like magic. Now, I'm pretty good at budgeting, but I realized the other day that this is because I hate hate hate to spend money. I hate it. I love seeing the little numbers climb in my checking account. I'm one of those kind of people.
I need to learn how to use the right coupons, I think. More than that, I need to learn how to use promo codes, like the infamous Newegg promo code. Promo codes are like online coupons, right? And the right promo code (Newegg promo code) can get you just what you want.
Although, I have my eye on some boots by my favorite shoe company, and I don't think that there is a promo code for those. Sad.
I feel that a lot of this has to do with coupons and sales. I have a friend that can, on a regular basis, buy boxes of cereal for a dollar a piece. How does she do this? I don't know. It's like magic. Now, I'm pretty good at budgeting, but I realized the other day that this is because I hate hate hate to spend money. I hate it. I love seeing the little numbers climb in my checking account. I'm one of those kind of people.
I need to learn how to use the right coupons, I think. More than that, I need to learn how to use promo codes, like the infamous Newegg promo code. Promo codes are like online coupons, right? And the right promo code (Newegg promo code) can get you just what you want.
Although, I have my eye on some boots by my favorite shoe company, and I don't think that there is a promo code for those. Sad.
Altruistic Girl
Just for a second, I would like to discuss the type of girl we would all like to be. I'm talking about a girl that is sweet and kind and loving no matter what. She never gets mad and never argues. She says she gets mad, but really, her "mad" is like normal people frustrated. She is happy all the time and will go around saying things like, "I love dumpsters." (On a side note, I'm not kidding, there are girls that say that. I had a roommate that said that on a date once. She married him a year later.)
Yes, you know who I'm talking about. It's altruistic girl. You know, the girl that should be taking medical assistant classes in Kentucky. (I believe that Kentucky has all the nicest of people. I don't know why I believe this, but I don't think that the people of Kentucky would mind, so I will stick with this philosophy.) So she takes medical assistant classes in Kentucky and loves everyone all the time. She always looks perfect, even when she has just been at the gym for the last five hours doing Zoomba (this was after she spent the morning creating gift baskets for the starving children in Africa). Not only does she love everyone, but everyone loves her back.
I want to be just like you, altruistic girl!
Yes, you know who I'm talking about. It's altruistic girl. You know, the girl that should be taking medical assistant classes in Kentucky. (I believe that Kentucky has all the nicest of people. I don't know why I believe this, but I don't think that the people of Kentucky would mind, so I will stick with this philosophy.) So she takes medical assistant classes in Kentucky and loves everyone all the time. She always looks perfect, even when she has just been at the gym for the last five hours doing Zoomba (this was after she spent the morning creating gift baskets for the starving children in Africa). Not only does she love everyone, but everyone loves her back.
I want to be just like you, altruistic girl!
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